How do you know if it is truly love or if it’s just a crush? Love doesn’t want anything FROM you, it wants everything FOR you. If you are in a relationship that’s foundation is how much you can do for them or how much they can do for you…then it isn’t love. Love isn’t selfish.
It’s often easier to know when a friend should end a relationship, but it’s harder when you’re the one having to make the decision about your own relationship. Feelings become involved and it’s harder to decipher what is real and what is not.
So here is what I like to call “The Counterfeit List”. It’s a list of signs to look out for that can help you determine that this isn’t authentic love, but counterfeit love trying to pretend it’s the real deal. If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it’s time to get out of the relationship or not even enter into a relationship with this person in the first place.
- Do you feel the need to “fix” them?
- Do they look at pornography?
- Do they cheat on you?
- Do they flirt with other people?
- Do they hit you, abuse you or do anything that threatens your safety?
- Do they try to guilt you into doing what they want?
- Do they lie to you?
- Do they try to keep you from being with your family or friends?
- Do they have a drinking or drug problem?
- Have you had to tell them more than once to stop?
- Do they put you down? (even if they say they are “just kidding”)?
- Do they threaten to harm you or others if you were to end the relationship?